Wanderlust

I'm assuming it's part of the human condition to want to run away sometimes.

But what if you do run away... and the feeling doesn't go away?

When I graduated from high school I wanted to go to a college where nobody knew me and that was far enough away that it was a mild inconvenience to visit me/for me to visit home. I chose a college that was three hours away from home (I had to stay in state).

I didn't think of this as running away so much as I felt like it was escaping. And I loved it.

At times it was a little too far away, and it would frustrate me that my best friends couldn't relate to the places I would talk about, but I my world was expanded and I liked that.

After college I didn't know what I wanted and the thought of myself making excuses to go see my ex's shows if I was living in the area prompted me to move a thousand miles away. It was something I'd thought about but I don't think I ever planned.

It was an adventure. My best friend and a couple good friends from college would be living in the same city, so I wasn't afraid. It's been just under a year, my best friend and one of the good friends have both moved back.

World: expanded.

However, "expanding my world" comes at a price. A piece of myself gets left everywhere I've called home, which in essence means that I am always homesick for somewhere. At least that's the way I felt about it a month ago.

The past week or so I've been rolling an idea around. I want to escape. Again.

Things aren't falling into place here. I love the city I live in, but I've changed apartments and jobs so much that I can't get comfortable. Even though I feel more at home here in the city than I do back "home", still, all I want to do is escape. I want to go to Ireland. I visited there for a few weeks in college and I fell in love with it. It felt like home.

Mostly, I want to find where I belong. Or if I don't belong anywhere, I want to always be a stranger.

Realistically though, how do you afford to do that?