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This is my place to figure things out. It's that simple.

Location: United States

I'm 25 year old Wisconsin girl living in the city of neon and chrome who's slowly gaining her identity while losing all sense of reality.

19 March 2010

I see Queen Mab hath been with you...

I can't seem to get over the dream I had this morning. I say "this morning" because I had gotten up around six am and then gone back to bed and at one point in my dream, realized I needed to wake up and woke up with a start, with only a half hour to get ready for work. I know other people's dreams are often boring/obnoxious to hear about, so I'll try to only stick to the highlights. Besides, anyone not interested in hearing my dream... well... it's the Internet. I'm not forcing you to read it.

Like most of my dreams, this one was very disjointed and while I know which part came just before I woke up, the rest is a mess. I've spent the morning wracking my brains trying to decide which parts of the dream were important and which parts were simply a result of watching Hulu last night before going to bed.

Here's some of the highlights:

I'm in my bedroom at my parents house, but the house is not like the one in real life. I feel like it might be a summer house or something. You can see the ocean outside and the walls are more like that of a tent. I am on the bed kissing and being held by a guy who is clearly my significant other in the dream. Let's call him guy X (He looks like a friend of mine I haven't seen in a few years but was never remotely attracted to). It's all very innocent but at the same time deeply emotional. As I'm kissing him I realize he's not the one I want at all. I realize the person I want is, lets call him guy Y (Guy Y is a character from one of my favorite TV shows. Basically an athletic, loyal, honorable, good guy, who is rugged and down to earth - at the same time he almost seems to be another friend of mine who, in real life I had had a fling with but I'm not really interested in). I realize (in the dream) that while guy Y had wanted me before, I had at that time been involved with Guy Z (literally the last guy I was involved with in real life) and so I had to turn guy Y down, even though I knew I probably shouldn't be with guy Z. As I'm kissing guy X's hands they become the hands of guy Y and I imagine it is him who is holding me. I realize I shouldn't be doing that, and then I become aware of how unattractive I find guy X (he's sweaty and drooling from exhaustion). Much later on in the dream I see guy Y and he doesn't look anything like "the guy who plays him on TV". I realize I'm not really that attracted to him. He hugs me and we flirt even though I know guy X is somewhere in the room and will probably see us. A girl I went to college with pulls me away to have a talk with me (She is someone who is often known for being a 'royal bitch' - her words, not mine - and once in real life took me aside in a similar fashion to tell me what was 'wrong' with me...) She told me I needed to leave both guys alone. When I asked her why she said, "well for one you have hooker boots". This is where I woke up with a start. I woke up annoyed.

The other, more interesting and probably more important part of my dream, I was in the upstairs of the house and I saw something very large whizzing past the window chasing a rabbit. I couldn't tell what it was and I thought it must be a cougar or something, but it seemed too large to be. It looked like maybe it could be a lion or a tiger but I knew we don't have those around our house. I ran to the opposite side of the house and looked out a small window to see if it would come around to that side. It did and I saw it catch the large brown rabbit it was chasing and devour it almost whole. I remember seeing it briefly for a moment as having a lion/white tiger head, but I know when it turned and looked at me it had the face of a man (not the head of a man, but just the face), teal feathers at it's hairline, a long bird or giraffe like neck and it's front legs were that of a giraffe but they had a different pattern on each half one of which was clearly that of a zebra. It was brilliantly rainbow colored and the colors were continuously moving and changing. I cooed at it to try and get it to stay and it stared at me, as though it knew exactly who I was. I realized in order for anyone to believe me someone else would have to see it too, but I knew that it would leave before anyone else could see it. Even so I called for guy X to come look, and told him to hurry but it walked away before he could get there. I don't remember it having wings necessarily but I know that while the rabbit left footprints in the snow the creature did not.

The other things prevalent in my dream were my cat (I had lost her carrier), my mother and sister, there was a flood that came and left very quickly and left a lot of damage and death, my mother at one point did not care about her newly polished jewelry because she had nowhere to put them anymore and something had happened, I assumed someone had died but whenever she tried to whisper it to me I could not understand her, and at one point we came across a woman who's children were dead and who was badly hurt and full of nettles. When a girl (who later became me) got close to her the nettles pulled out of the woman and stuck in the girl/my arm as if magnetized. Later I was chastised for allowing that to happen and I had to pull them out myself. The nettles had some kind of toxin in them so they made me a bit loopy as well. Other than that, there was a sense of needing to get somewhere, being uncomfortable, there was a dark red rust colored shower that wasn't supposed to be used, and a sea-foam green/teal color was also prevalent.

So that's the gist. I've looked up some of the meanings of things who's symbolism I don't blatantly see, but basically I don't know what to think. The guy thing seems fairly obvious. Basically, I don't know what I really want, and I shouldn't get into relationships until I've decided, but beyond that, I have no idea what I'm supposed to get from this dream.

I know dreams don't necessarily mean anything, but I'm a strong believer that dreams are usually your subconscious trying to bring things to light that you may be ignoring. Who knows, maybe they're sometimes something more than that. Then again, maybe they're usually nothing.



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