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This is my place to figure things out. It's that simple.

Location: United States

I'm 25 year old Wisconsin girl living in the city of neon and chrome who's slowly gaining her identity while losing all sense of reality.

24 March 2010

I can turn a grey sky blue!

I wrote this yesterday (March 23rd) but didn't get a chance to post it:

It's a dreary day out today and from what I can tell, almost everyone is miserable. I, however, may have figured out how to cure the blues.

It's one of those days today. The sun is nowhere to be found and it's been drizzling on and off all day. On the subway this morning the air was damp and heavy as the cool humidity wafted from people's skin sending everyone's scent into the crowded air. I was trying to decide what it smelled like between the two guys I ended up standing next to, and what I came up with was that there was a cool, sweet, cotton-crisp, musky smell from the man to my left and a hot almost rancid, spice smell from the man on my right. Needless to say, on a day like today one tries ones best not to inhale too deeply on the subway. However, it wasn't simply the weather and the crowded subway that were conspiring to dislodge everyone's happiness today. Oh no, it was one of THOSE days where it seems as if all the little elements of the universe are coming together like some puckish sprite just dying for a little bit of Schadenfreude. Little things like my toilet overflowing and the cats running out of food.Consequently not having time to take a shower. Missing breakfast. Forgetting to take lunch. Swallowing coffee down the wrong tube. So many small stupid things that the absurdity of it all leaves you mildly amused while simultaniously leaving you in a state of annoyed aggitation. But as the day progressed I discovered something that made it all that seem to disappear.

Acting like a child.

Perhaps that could use an explanation. I don't mean outwardly behaving like a child. More like allowing your inner child to skip around and stick out it's tounge at the trickster universe. I'm rubber, you're glue universe! Take that!

As it turns out, the ramshackle outfit I threw together in a whirlwind this morning happens to have a hint of "Mommy look! I dressded myselfs!". I'm wearing black pinstriped pants with a brown, empire waist shirt decorated with a bright, norske-ish flower pattern at the neckline, topped off with a short, light-weight, white and silver 3/4 length sweater, and my silver dorthy shoes. The shoes themselves practicly scream "nine year old". But I really don't care. They're like wearing little disco balls with bows on your feet and I happen to think they are schnazzy and awesome. (Plus, with the rise of hipster fashion, you can dress like a nine year old, call it 'ironic' and it's considered 'cool') Anyway, this slightly childish outfit seems to have been the starting point of my negitivity-fighting happiness. While I'm aware that it is not the most fashionable outfit, separately I love each article of clothing and so I feel comfy, yet I still look dressed up. It's takes some effort to stay annoyed when you look at your feet and secretly think "there's no place like home"...

When it came time for my lunch, I really just wanted to get outside. I knew it wasn't the nicest out, but sometimes for me, when things aren't going as planned I just need to be outside. I put in my headphones and wandered to the nearest branch of my bank, which happened to be in Times Square. Times Square at 2pm on a dreary Tuesday afternoon is pretty fantastic. Not a whole lot of people, and the folks on the street selling things are too glum from the weather to attempt to stop someone who's wearing headphones and looking at their sparkly shoes. After the bank I decided to walk down broadway a bit, because, lets face it, even when it's a designated pedestrian zone, walking down the middle of the street is just fun. Out of the corner of my eye I realized I was right near the giant Toys 'R Us and I decided to wander inside. By far the best idea I've had all day.

After about a ten seconds inside Toys 'R Us I was grinning like an idiot. I kept my headphones in to ward off any salesfolk and just giddily searched through Legos, Hello Kitties, and Playmobiles. I think the fantastic thing about being an adult in a giant tourist trap toy store is that while part of you still has that rediculous bliss of being surrounded by so many totally awesome things, you don't really feel bad about not buying anything. Sure, part of me would totally love to buy the Playmobile Egyptian Boat or the way too small 'I (Hello Kitty's head) NY' t-shirt, but it's not like tryining on the perfect pair of jeans and knowing you can't afford to buy them. It's just fun. At the same time, as an adult, you get this sort of under-cover feeling, knowing that society dictates that toy stores are for kids, not adults. The entire time I was there, I totally pretended I was shopping for a present for my "little brother".

It may be that acting like a kid is just turning on a goofy, light-hearted attitude. After all, childish language is inherently more funny. For example, call someone a poopy-head and it's hard not to crack a smile, call someone the same thing using more "adult" language, and the humor is gone. On a deeper note though, it may be that acting child-like takes us back to days when, for many of us, problems rarely extended further than whether to wear the Tailspin underwear or the ones with the frilly butt.

Regardless of the reasons, it seems to me that acting like a kid can brighten up any crummy day. Even if it's just in your head.


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